Bellingham Men's Circle

Overview

Bellingham Men's Circle is an in-person group – founded by Peter Schulte, Sherman Wang, and Bryan Day – that creates a powerful container for men to process difficulties in their life, envision the man they most want to be, commit to action to make their vision a reality, get support, and build community. Join us!

Mission

We create a safe, welcome, and powerful container in which men of all kinds can practice and cultivate mature masculinity, vulnerability, candor, authenticity, integrity, service, and connection.

Logistics

Where?
Rising Moon Meadows. Contact Peter Schulte for exact address.

When?
First and third Monday of the month, 6-8pm. We also intend to convene social opportunities (e.g., hikes, meals, etc.) and opportunities to serve others in the group and the community. Please arrive on time. Those arriving after 6:05pm will be turned away.

Suggested Donation
$15 / month. Voluntary. No man will be turned away due to lack of funds. Donations will go to the nonprofit Spark of Genius and will be used to pay for the venue and promotions to grow the circle. Make a payment.

Decisionmaking
All decisions regarding the structure and logistics of the group are made by vote among the founding leadership group (i.e., Peter Schulte, Bryan Day, and Sherman Wang) with input from all regularly participating members.

Requirements
Any person above the age of 20 who considers themselves a man is welcome. No training or initiation is needed to join this circle. Every man must agree to the agreements below.

Agreements

We hold the following as sacred commitments that create a powerful and safe container. Anyone who is not willing to honor them will be asked to leave. These rules apply to all interactions on the Rising Moon Meadows premises before, during, and after circle.

1. Confidentiality: What is said here stays here. Outside of circle, I speak about my own experience. I do not use other men’s names or tell other men’s stories.
2. Safety: If I or any other man says “safety,” "stop," or “I feel unsafe,” then whatever process is occurring stops immediately. I can ask for additional physical or emotional safety considerations at any time.
3. Consent: I and any other man may pass on any activity or agenda item at any time by saying "No" or "Pass," no questions asked.
4. No advice: I ask for the support I need. I do not offer my perspectives, opinions, judgments, or solutions unless they are explicitly requested.
5. No solicitation: I am here to cultivate my own growth above all else. I am not here to mentor, coach, or lead other men. I do not solicit interest in my services or events.

Guidelines

The following are additional guidelines and expectations for how men conduct themselves in circle. However, while the above agreements are absolutely critical for the safety and effectiveness of the container, we acknowledge that many men may at times fall short of meeting the guidelines below. When they do so, we will invite them back into alignment.

• No caretaking: I am not here to caretake or solve other men’s problems. I am here to listen, witness, offer support, and ask powerful questions.
• Responsibility: It is my responsibility to ask for what I want.
• Honesty: I share my feelings, even when they are uncomfortable for me or others.
• Accountability: I am accountable for the agreements I make. If I break an agreement with myself or any other man in our circle, I will own and examine that choice in circle. I ask other men in our circle to invite me into accountability should I fail to do so myself.
• Listening: When another is speaking, I listen. I am not thinking about how I will respond.
• “I” statement”: I use “I statements,” not "you statements." I speak for myself. I own my own experience.
• Substances: If I am in a mind-altered state due to drugs or alcohol, I will acknowledge this to the group when I check-in and the leadership group will discuss how to proceed.
• No shaming: I invite men to share the worst parts of themselves. I never shame a man for his poor decisions or failures. I celebrate a man for sharing his whole self with me.
• No political debates: While we may share about our emotional reactions to political events, this is not a space to debate politics or advocate for political positions.

Meeting Structure

• Entrance: Cross the threshold, enter the circle space, and find a seat in silence.
• Welcome & Invocation (5 minutes): Welcome from the lead facilitator. Any man may call in any energy (e.g., archetype, loved one, direction, spiritual figure, etc.) into the circle for support.
• Agreements (3 minutes): Review agreements and secure active confirmation.
• Grounding/Centering (2 minutes): A short meditation to foster presence.
• Check-in (1-2 minutes per person): Name, purpose metaphor, emotions, accountability report, honor yourself for something you did recently.
• Spotlight (5-15 minutes): One man offers a teaching, ritual, process, or question to the group. The Spotlighted man and his offering will typically be identified before the meeting.

(split into groups if more than 10 men are present)

• Dive-In (3-5 minutes per person): What are you struggling with? What growth within must take place for you to be the man you most want to be?
• Deep Dive (20-40 minutes): One man per group undergoes a facilitated process to experience and express his emotions, delve into and integrate shadow, and/or come to greater insight into his life.

(come back to full circle 15 minutes from end of meeting)

• Check-out (1-2 minutes per person): Name, purpose metaphor, accountability declaration, core take-away from tonight's circle.
• Call of the Wild (1 minute): Close circle with a collective primal yell and movement

Facilitation

To facilitate the Deep Dive round, a man must have attended a facilitation training within the last 30 days and agree to our facilitation principles. Facilitation trainings take place via Zoom on the 2nd and 4th Mondays of the month from 6-7pm. Contact Peter Schulte for more details.

Suggested Donation

Those who reguarly join Bellingham Men's Circle are asked to make a suggested donation of $15 a month. This money goes toward space rental and promotion costs and also helps foster commitment and investment among participants. No man will be turned away due to lack of funds.